Im mad at myself! Mad at GOD! Im dysfunctional so why created me? In this female body, but with problems. The only thought i had that time is all against me.
I cried alone. The pressure I have from my family, friends n working place.
'' Oh how? positive? ",
'' Why cant u pregnant?? ''
'' What problems u have? ''
'' You or your husband having problems ?''
'' U pregnant already or not? '' x100
OH SHUT THE FUCK UP PEOPLE!! SHUT UP!!
At working place ( Since im a nurse working in busy ward )
'' How long ur holiday gonna be? ''
'' We dont have enough staff ''
'' Someone not happy with ur leave ''
WHAT THE FUCK WITH U GUYS!! IM ONGOING IVF TREATMENT OFCOZ ILL HAVE UNEXPECTED LEAVE/EMERGENCY LEAVE!!
I understand that time I was too depressed. For the first timer handling such situation.
After long thought, I met my Matron (Big Boss) inform her that I wanted to move to different ward. O & G, some relaxing ward - currently that time in Orthopaedic male ward. Carrying patient most of the time. CRAZY!
After few months, received letter from office I got transfer to O&G ward! yuhuuuu!! As expected, less work, n more relaxing. Just sometimes I am busy, but not busy by carrying patients. That's enough..
All I have is my husbands support. Without him I did already give up on this treatment.
Takes time for me to heal.
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